VHR to Wanderers: You've gone soft

You've gone soft – Van Hankelroy on the players whose soccer wives wag the dog

August 16, 2007

SCW stalwart Van Hankelroy has delivered a damning indictment on the culture of modern-day Wanderers by attacking "soft" footballers whose careers he believes are shaped by "wags".

"Priorities have changed in footballers and they're being dictated to by their soccer wives - there's no getting away from that," VHR, the Club Ladies Man, said.

"This idea of the women running the show concerns me and worries me but it shouldn't because the players we're talking about are soft. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not women I have a problem with, it’s men who let women take control. It’s men who say “I’ve got one woman, that’s enough for me”. I say to them, where’s your libido? Why stop at one?”

"I could name three or four big players now at the Wanderers, including some in the Executive, and clearly their soccer wives are running their lives. They're stood there doing these photo shoots for some lifestyle magazine and they might say, 'I'm not comfortable doing it'. Well, don't do it then. They're getting dragged into it because of their partners. These so-called big stars, the ones people are supposed to be looking up to, they're weak, they're soft."

VHR's been having a hard time lately getting Wanderers to run the decoy for him at parties, and the club’s most famous ginger-nut vented his spleen.

"We had a player this summer who didn't even ring us back because his wife wanted to go to Bondi; he didn't even have the courtesy to pick the phone up to us - and shopping was mentioned," VHR said.

"I can understand the attraction of Maroubra for a visit to the buffet at the Maroubra Seals club, but there are players just going there for bingo or the pokies with their soccer wives and to me, that's wrong - clubs with half the crowds and no decent chicks. It's not a football move, it's a lifestyle move - and they're the type you don't want at your club, anyway.

"It tells me the player is weak and his soccer wife runs his life.

"There are less and less characters in the game. Players are motivated by lots of different things: money, the glamour of Maroubra, living near Rinos. Really, as a player, you can retire and live anywhere you want. They're focused on where they want to live and a lot of that is down to their partners, who seem to be running their lives.

"You have to sign for a club for football reasons. A couple of years ago, I nearly went to Juventus. People spoke to me about Turin saying it's this, it's that and Barnestoneworth would be nicer, and I said, 'I'm not going for the bloody shops, I'm going because it's Juventus and I’ve seen their supporters calender… the chicks, mate, the chicks…'.

"Football and chicks must be your priority. You don't need to live in London or Manchester or Maroubra to be happy; you don't need to be surrounded by expensive shops or fancy cafes. What's your priority – your soccer wife and her shopping or your football and more chicks? If a player doesn't want to come to South Coogee because his soccer wife wants to go shopping in Bondi, or if he leaves a game early to get to his soccer wife’s tupperware party, it's a sad state of affairs.

"The player won't say it to you, but you know that's what they're thinking - because they say, 'I need to speak to my soccer wife'."

Telegraph, South Coogee