Shock reshuffle at SCW sees new President take charge

HEADLINE: SHOCK RESHUFFLE SEES NEW SCW PRESIDENT TAKE CHARGE
4 June 2006, Sydney.

The South Coogee Wanderers Soccer franchise has been thrown into turmoil over the last week with the shock announcement by its President, Iainamoto, that he was handing over the reigns of the club to a virtual unknown from the junior ranks, Isabelista Ruth Brady MacGill. It was later revealed that Isabelista was in fact a love child of the president and the First Lady, Katy Bradino.

Response from club stalwarts to the shock move was mixed. Club skills coach and creative midfielder, Sandinista, expressed outrage: "children and sport don't mix". Club Cardinal expressed concern about the threat of her original sin to club prospects over the coming season demanding to know, "has she been baptized?". HR manager, Balbo, expressed delight at the appointment:
"she's a young fresh talent who will relate well with our workforce of kids in the sweatshops". The Club Patron Saint acknowledged his disappointment that neither of his own two miracles had got the nod for the position. Key Striker and club ladies man, Van Hankelroy, admitted that he had already been warned off by Iainamoto, while club whip DJ was enthusiastic about the sponsorship opportunities. "Some of our key backers have been looking to break into the youth and female markets - she's a natural"

Katy Bradino, SCW first lady, expressed her delight with the new management structure, and revealed that plans for the reshuffle had been underway for over nine months. Meanwhile Iainamoto brushed away questions regarding the rapid promotion of an untried talent to head up the club, and allegations of nepotism. "Since when has this club ever claimed to be a meritocracy?
Anyway, Isabel arrived early Tuesday morning, 23 May, and immediately took charge. Frankly, I didn't pass on control of the club; it was taken from me"


Perhaps unsurprisingly, it has not taken long for Isabelista to become embroiled in controversy - in this case with the Breastfeeding Mothers Association of NSW. They have expressed outrage at Isabelista's publicity photos released at the time the club announced her appointment (see attached). "The shots include blatant product placements that will encourage poor dietary habits amongst newborn children who are amongst the clubs biggest fans " said Pip Stenekes, a spokesperson for the Association.

Iainamoto dismissed the claims - "There was no product placement. Look, the kid just likes Bundaberg Beer, just like any other kid." The President did acknowledge, however, that all the recent controversy over his management of the club was almost certainly the cause of his recent performance slump on the field. He vowed to silence his critics over the coming month; "I'll let my right and left feet, head, knees, chest and shoulders do the talking."