Expensive but worth it

Fellows,

An interesting article from the London press, from our British Media
Correspondent 'The Flu', dissecting the Wanderers and their fortunes.

Expensive but worth it?
By Phil McNulty

SCW Club Secretary Abel Balbo predictably tops the rich list of footballers
with an estimated fortune of k£65m (kip).

The list was compiled by Philip Beresford and Dominic Prince, the authors
who produce the Sunday Times Rich List, for FourFourTwo magazine. A
FourFourTwo spokesman said: "The list was compiled using established methods
of calculating business values and individual wealth. But, naturally, there
is an element of estimation because people are reluctant to open their bank
accounts for examination."

So, on that basis, which of the top 10 on the list can be considered to be
giving value for money in return for their rewards?

FOOTBALL'S RICHEST PLAYERS

1 Abel Balbo (SCW)k£65m
2 Van Hankelroy (SCW) k£37m
3 Playmaker (SCW) k£30m
4 Storrienko (SCW) k£28m
5 David Beckham (Madrid) k£22m
6 Comrade Shi Lin (SCW) k£20.8m
7 Sanfordinho (SCW) k£20.5m
8 Don Juan Aaron (SCW) k£20.3m
9 Cagey le Coge (SCW) k£20m
10 Sandinista (SCW)k£18m

ABEL BALBO - k£65M

Balbo is arguably football's biggest marketing asset - a guarantee of
millions for his club in terms of merchandise, imaging and profile. Indeed
many regarded SCW's move for Balbo as more of a ploy to drive ahead of
Manchester United and Real Madrid in the key Asian market rather than a
footballing investment, sentiments confirmed by recent placement of high
profile Wanderers (including Balbo himself) in various Asian headquarters.
Balbo's stock has fallen somewhat with some lurid personal headlines, a loss
of form for club and country, and public criticism of his recent failure to
improve the standard of Laotian football. But he is still worth millions of
kip to the Wanderers before he even steps on the pitch - the question now is
whether his football is worthy of his lucrative rewards as one of SCW's
"galacticos".

VERDICT: MAY BE A DWINDLING ASSET

VAN HANKELROY - k£37M

The reward for a long and gloriously successful career with Ajax, Inter
Milan and SCW. The Ajax prodigy did not deliver his best in Italy, but ask
any Wanderers fan who has witnessed his greatness either on the pitch or in
the boudoir over the last decade and it is highly unlikely they will
begrudge the South Coogee poacher a penny. Also an ambassador who has
steered clear of serious controversy, other than his Club Women's Policy
which turned a few heads among feminist groups. May add to his wealth with a
new Wanderers goalkeeping contract and testimonial.

VERDICT: VALUE FOR MONEY

PLAYMAKER - k£30M

Playmaker's clean-cut family man image has made him a prized-asset when it
comes to endorsing products - and his deeds on the football pitch have done
him no harm either. Performed brilliantly for the Nowra Nobodies after
bursting on to the scene in 1997, and was rewarded with a lucrative
cut-price k£8m move to SCW, just one year before the end of his Nowra
contract. After a stuttering start, Playmaker is now proving to be a success
at Ronald McDonald Stadium, providing a regular supply of goals despite
often starting on the bench (which is unusual for a club like the Wanderers,
which doesn't even have a bench). Still regarded as SCW's main backheelman
and a good role model.

VERDICT: VALUE FOR MONEY

STORRIENKO - k£28M

The Club Cardinal had a magnificent career in professional Monopoly, and
then somehow landed a
money-spinning k£11m move to Leeds United. The cash crisis at Elland Road
meant he - along with deadball specialist Ian Harte - was sold in a
cut-price deal to the Wanderers, where he has never recaptured the form of
his early days. Known to have amassed part of his estimated fortune with
shrewd property dealing and blackmail in the confessional. Barnestoneworth
fans will never question the value Storrienko delivered by NOT playing in
the inaugural Wanderers Feast Day Cup, but not much joy since.

VERDICT: DEPRECIATING IN VALUE

DAVID BECKHAM - k£22M

Anomaly in the ratings list, questionable how he is in the top 10 when there
are so many Wanderers to get through. Presumably he earns most of his money
through hairstyle patents. In any event, we don't care because he is not a
Wanderer.

VERDICT: OVERPAID

COMRADE SHI LIN - k£20M

Signed a reported k£100,000-a-week deal with the Wanderers when he left
Derby in controversial circumstances to sign for the South Coogee club on a
free transfer. Proved a resounding success at South Coogee, winning the
trophies that eluded him abroad and organising club Rape and Pillage trips
to remote chinese villages, and is still regarded as SCW's outstanding
second choice goalkeeper. About to sign a new long-term contract at
Wanderers and has talked of pursuing a career in acting when he retires.
Model professional with plenty of years left.

VERDICT: VALUE FOR MONEY

SANFORDINHO - k£20M

Lengthy career as a footballing nobody, which included a poorly attended
testimonial in 2001, however has since been a perfect SCW servant. May be
past his best now, and has recently refused to wear anything but bright pink
when he turns out for the Wanderers. Would be no shortage of takers if he
decided to leaves the Wanderers and move somewhere that is short of players.

VERDICT: STILL AN ASSET

DON JUAN AARON - k£20M

Landed two huge moves in his career, with a k£19m switch from South Clovelly
to North Coogee followed by a k£29m transfer from North Coogee to South
Coogee Wanderers. Marketing ability may well have been affected by an
eight-month ban for failing to take a DNA test, motoring his mega-yacht
Norks across the Mediterranean while under the influence of alcohol and
countless amphetamines, and taking the lord's name in vain after shooting
wide of goal. Back playing at his best again, but still some way to go to
maximise his potential.

VERDICT: YET TO PROVE WORTH

CAGEY LE COGE - k£20M

A Normandy legend who once reacted furiously when the club hinted they were
putting up season ticket prices to pay for his new contract. Unswervingly
loyal, the voice of El Presidente Iainomoto on the pitch. Never a marketing
man's dream because of a poor disciplinary record, an outspoken streak and
his penchant for public urination. Also sent home from his own testimonial
in 2004 after siding with the opposition during a row with Club Antagonist
Camikaze. But ask SCW fans what they think of their inspirational frenchman
and they will say he has been worth every penny he has been paid during his
time at South Coogee - and more besides.

VERDICT: VALUE FOR MONEY

SANIDINISTA - k£18M

Combines football disinterest with typical Wanderers lateness. Star of a
famous "va va voom" advert for Renault cars, which controversially was
filmed while he should have been playing the Cagey Testimonial. Questionable
marketing asset on and off the pitch, although in the final three for World
Carom Player of the Year. Club yet to see a penny of his investments "on the
Club's behalf" but our Club Treasurer assures us the cheque is in the mail.

VERDICT: VALUE FOR MONEY