Buffalo blames ball boy for East-Running defeat
| South Coogee, Jan 29 (Reuters) –
SCW East Running are looking to have last Wednesday's 11-10 defeat to West Running overturned or the match replayed due to the actions of a ball boy.
SCW Director of Ball Boys and Sexual Health, Maurizio Buffalo, told reporters the ball boy had returned the ball to West Running too quickly at a corner kick, which led to wish-I-was-a-Brazilian Abel Balbo's headed winner. He also suggested the ball boy may also have had a foreign accent.
'I have dispatched SCW's finest legal minds and some brown paper bags, and I have asked for a 13-0 win or at least for the match to be replayed this wednesday,' Buffalo said. 'I have read the rules -- the ball boys must stay behind the advertising boards, must have passed the South Coogee Citizenship test - including questions pertaining to the whereabouts of the Club President Iainomoto, which admittedly most of the players would fail these days - and must not be British backpackers. What happened last Wednesday is against the rules.'
West Running are enjoying a good spell and have moved into equal second in the wednesday night league, while East Running have lost four in a row in all competitions and slipped. They are also now equal second.
The South Coogee game has been hit by a number of controversial refereeing decisions recently. Some officials, notably Club Disciplinarian Camikaze, have said the current crop of match officials, whittled down by the 2006 match-fixing scandal and an exodus to Asian saunas, are too young and lack experience. "Last week somebody called me a monkey, and the referee did nothing. I had to play on while people threw bananas at me. It was upsetting, is all." When asked who it was, Camikaze suggested that he thought it may have been Cardinal Storrienko, "but I couldn't see clearly because I had tears in my eyes".
There have been recent calls for foreign officials to be brought in but SCW Referees' chief and Club Treasurer Pierluigi Sandinista has defended his men. 'They make mistakes and sometimes they take bribes, but it is absurd to say that that is wrong,' he told Tuesday's Gazzetta dello Sport. 'It's part of the modern game'. He also suggested they should not be judged by television, 'which is why we don't televise any of our games, apart from the live coverage via satellite to the Bingo Room at Maroubra Seals.'
'Anyway, in France, Spain, England, Maroubra, they have more problems than us. Who do I call? Barnestoneworth? Thailand? Ask yourself, do we really want Don Juan back to referee our games?' |
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