Beijing Musings

from Juanaldo:

The current situation doesn’t allow me to test the friendship of the Chinese by participating in this kind of movement. I’d better keep my mouth shut as I might affect some “friends”

Anyway, that long strip of land located by the end of the world that’s called Chile contributed with a major blow that hurt the Chinese deeply a while ago. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about other prestigious countries.

The blogger, who also keeps an English-language blog about life in New Zealand, listed 42 countries by region and provided citations (we've just reproduce the list of names):

• Europe (12): Vatican City, UK, France, Germany, The Netherlands, Italy, Spain, The Czech Republic, Sweden, Denmark, Slovenia, Albania
• North America (2): USA, Canada
• Central America (6): Guatemala, Grenada, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Honduras, Nicaragua
• South America (1): Chile
• Oceania (4): New Zealand, Solomon Islands, Nauru, Marshall Islands
• Africa (9): Chad, Malawi, Burkina Faso, Swaziland, São Tomé and Príncipe, Gambia, Liberia, Senegal, South Africa
• Asia (8): Japan, Vietnam, Philippines, Indonesia, India, Jordan, (disputed: Cambodia, Laos)

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From: Comrade

Sent: Thursday, 8 January 2009 10:31 AM

Subject: Beijing Musings

Comrades,

With New Year approaching, it's time to turn our thoughts northwards, as Juan blazes a solo trail opening up business opportunities for SCW Enterprises for the Year of the Ox and beyond.

On my most recent visit, I was concerned that there had been insufficient follow up to Balbo's "Doin' it for Tibet" Tour of 2005. SCW shops were stuffed with tacky Olympic merchandise such as The Friendlies (http://en.beijing2008.cn/spirit/beijing2008/graphic/n214068254.shtml), rather than limited edition prints of classic SCW moments, "Stoffa Pulls it Wide", "The Pres Takes One for The Team", the perennial favourite "VHR's Short Corner" or our new range of Miranda Devine "signature undergarments for the conservative lady".

In an editorial in the People's Daily, I thundered that China had "hurt the feelings of the South Coogee people" by their actions. Looking further into the matter, I discovered that despite Playmaka's best efforts at DoD, South Coogee had not once managed to hurt the feelings of the Chinese people:

http://www.danwei.org/foreign_affairs/a_map_of_hurt_feelings.php

This needs to be redressed in the Year of the Ox. I have already commissioned at 2 page advertorial in Beijing Youth Daily which simply reads "Hu Jintao is a joke", and I await further suggestions, particularly from Juan who clearly needs to spend less time toasting to the undying friendship of the Chinese and Chilean peoples, and more time putting the studs in above and behind the pads. Even the Solomon Islands have managed to hurt their feelings. It can't be that hard..

Yours sensitively,
Comrade.