Capital Entertainment

Abel and other Wanderers,

A short highlights package from the Wanderers weekend tour of the Capital, for your Mekongside entertainment.

Despite blustery weather, Comrade's homeground of Purple Pickle Park (aka Canberra FC FC Stadium) was sold out days before the game. A beautiful pitch, legend has it that Comrade tends to its edges himself every few days to make sure they meet FIFA specifications in the hope that Sepp Blatter does eventually come by for a visit (as he famously promised in the lead up to the 1996 leadership campaign, when Comrad Shi Lin's vote was crucial in the election of the frenchman).

Comrade's call to arms saw at least six local punters turn out to take on the might of the SCW, a stirring indication of the passion inspired by the Wanderers wherever they play.

Prior to kickoff, Club Elbows Man El Kaze enthused eagerly at the prospect of damaging some local bones. Less than five minutes after David McBride's celebrity kickoff, El Kaze duly lived up to his claim with a stiff backhander to the lip of a young Canberra lion, Leo Lightfoot. To Leo's credit, after a relatively short stint in the blood bin he returned to the "theatre of war" unintimidated by the tirade of verbal and physical abuse which El Kaze continued to direct at him and his new team mates (north running).

The play was end-to-end stuff, the no-booters trying desperately to maintain some footing in the slippery conditions. Udon Juan set a new club record with seven straight "posters" (which he stubbornly refuses to admit are the same thing as "misses"). Sandinista claimed the mantle of top goalscorer, although only he kept count so [as usual] the claim is dubious at best (Nonetheless, when bedtime came he claimed the prize - the only available mattress at Shi Lin's House of Pleasure). And after two and a half hours of bedlam, the gripless Wazzadona proved an unlikely hero bundling away a late winner after the normally reliable Van Hankleroy scuffed a simple clearance. There were ugly scenes which immediately followed the goal, where Wazza pushed and mocked his former team mate Van Hankleroy and Cagey reportedly spat at the renowned poacher, however match referee Pierluigi Collina was able to restore some calm and avoid the incident boiling over into the stands.

Wazza's travelling army of Donna's invaded the pitch after the apparition's golden goal, and despite the layer of womens underwear which littered the goalbox Wazza maintains that he was only "sharing a joke and a drink" with his admirers. His football wife, who claims not to have seen the orgiastic celebrations, said "I have no reason to think Wazza would not be telling the truth. Besides, look at him - who would think he's attractive enough to shag?"

From the SCW News Room

DJA

for Reuters