The Special One Leaves South Coogee

SCW Manager of Football Lanky Borelladona held court imperiously outside Tum
Thai Stadium yesterday as he farewelled his South Coogee fans before heading
off to take on the managerial post at Stamford Bridge. Here are some of his
thoughts.

Staff and agencies
Wednesday June 2, 2004

On himself
"SCW has top players and, sorry if I'm arrogant, until now they have had a
top manager. I don't see any managerial depth, though, so whoever follows in
my footsteps will probably be a buffoon"
On Abel Balbo's suggestion that he's unproven outside South Coogee
"I heard that and what I suggest is that one of you should explain that for
a team to win the Wanderers Feast Day Cup you have to play many times, well
at least once, against teams from different areas. I did not win the cup
playing against 20 Portuguese teams or 20 South Coogee teams. I did it
against teams from Barnestoneworth. That's nowhere near South Coogee. Balbo
should stick his head back up his own arse."
On expectations of immediate success at Chelsea
"I'm not asking for time: what I want is to give my best, to improve things,
to create a football team in relation to my image and my football
philosophy. Most important is to find players who think as I think. We
should not be afraid to say 'we want to win'. We should not be afraid to say
"I've seen Van Hankelroy play, and I want to be like him".
On SCW's squad
"I wanted a small squad - 21 players plus the goalkeepers and no more. It is
a correct number for the specific work we wanted to do with the Wanderers.
Unfortunately I could barely muster half that number even on a good day.
Technically they're unmatched, but their attitude sucks."
On his philosophy
"I am a great defender of team spirit and teamwork. The first thing I have
to promise to my players is that I will look at them with the same eyes ...
I do not want special relations with one of them at a time, I want special
relations with all of them together. I was gagged and left in a gimp
cupboard after we won the Wanderers Feast Day Cup, and that was special.
All the players were involved, all had their way with me over the course of
those lurid 2 weeks. I hate to speak about players individually. Players do
not win trophies; squads win trophies. I cannot say I love this player, I
love players who love to win and players who dress in leather. They not only
win in 90 minutes, but every day, every training session, in every dressing
room and every shower, in every moment of their lives."
On potential signings at Chelsea
"In relation to the SCW players. I love them all as we won together and made
history together and I wish the best for all of them. I will not give a
sheet of players of who I want. I must give a document with reasons why I
want this and that. We have to spend time so we know what we really want and
what we really need. I might look at bringing one or two of them across to
Chelsea, probably Cagey and Camikaze. Cagey's chipping skills would be very
helpful in the premier league, there's no doubt about that."
On himself (again)
"I am the South Coogee champion. I think I am a special one."