Van Hankelroy mobbed as club turns into mosh pit
June 8, 2007
IN SCENES more reminiscent of a mosh pit than the grand ballroom of the Rinos Pizzeria in South Coogee, SCW Club Ladies Man Van Hankelroy was last night mobbed by adoring fans.
Babies were thrust into his arms, schoolchildren squeezed forward to be patted on the head and some strained just to touch the fabric of his coat. “This is wonderful” said Van Hankelroy, clearly delighted with the way things were going. “But enough of the babies and the tarnished, bring forward the virg1ns!” he cried.
About 450 members of the Lonely Chinese Ladies in South Coogee Association attended the private function, and formed a crush around the smiling Mr Van Hankelroy for half an hour after he made a short speech about flowering trade with China and de-flowering Chinese. "We love you," cried Donna Wei, who was unable to penetrate the surging pack surrounding him.
Two men got into an argument which was broken up by VHR’s security detail. "They’re just jealous, it's the Club Ladies Man," one woman said. She identified the men as Camikaze and Buffalo Bill, though both denied it afterwards.
Guests were treated to dim sims, won tons, spring rolls and the occasional ‘dollar coin surprise’, made by chefs who work on SCW Workplace Agreements. "We're all on SCWWAs here, but everyone is very happy with them," said the pizzeria's marketing manager, Rino Buongiorno. He then laughed nervously, and looked over his shoulder at a smiling Comrade Shi Lin.
Elsewhere, the Club Patron Saint Wazzadona also received a hero's welcome as he walked through a shopping centre in Kings Cross late last night. “I’m just here for groceries” he said, after being asked what he was shopping for in the red light district at 2.30am.
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