SCW soccer fans wary of Storrienko church donation

SCW soccer fans wary of Storrienko church donation

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=510070&cc=3888

SAO COOGEE, Feb 21 (Reuters) -

South Coogee Wanderer's Family Values spokesman, Cardinal Storrienko, has inspired and disappointed SCW soccer fans in equal measure by donating his FIFA Sermon of the Year trophy to a controversial evangelical church as an emblem of his 4-4-2-Christian faith.

The gold-plated trophy, which was manufactured at one of the SCW’s own sweatshops in western China for a cost of less than 0.01 kip, is on display in the entrance of a Sao Coogee branch of the Apostolic Reborn in Christ (Back Stick) church of which Cardinal is a devoted member.

'I deliver this up joyfully to God, because he is the reason behind every victory,' reads the inscription on the trophy, penned by the player who celebrates victories by gesturing to the heavens and revealing an undershirt with the slogan: “God drives a Hummer so why can’t I?”

Curious fans and regular churchgoers have flocked to see the trophy since it was put on display in early February. 'There is a great deal of curiosity. People come in, some of them take photos, and their admiration is plain to see,' said a backheeler at the church, who requested anonymity.

A constant stream of visitors have been lining up to photograph the trophy, one of whom, Marelo Lima Donna, a 49-year-old commercial representative and acquaintance of local celebrity Rino, said: 'This is a beautiful gesture, just wonderful. I am not a member of this church, but if possible I’d like to meet Van Hankelroy in one of the confessional boxes sometime. I hear he makes use of the facilities here quite often.'

The trophy is displayed against a backdrop of posters and videos of the 45-year old player in action.

However, some of Storrienko's fans are unhappy with his continued association with a church whose founders have been the target of criminal prosecution in the Ukraine and Brazil. South Americans Pedro “Charging Bull” Pedropolous and Douglas “Stickyfoot” Dougless, both of whom have been known to run with the Wanderers, were sentenced to nearly five months in jail last year after smuggling more than Kip 56 into the Maroubra Seals’ Las Vegas Pokies Lounge. At one point, Sao Coogee police sought explanations of Storrienko's own links with the couple, who have built up a rich portfolio of properties in Bermuda and Second Life.

'What is shocking to public opinion is not the (donation of the trophy) but is the fact the (it) has taken place at the very moment that the Back Stick Church is at the heart of this storm,' said Buffalo, deputy secretary of the National Council of Christian Footballing Churches of the Eastern Seaboard (Conic).

The Cardinal remains popular around the Coogee Bay Hotel, with a huge following among teenage girls who have occasionally confused him with Hankers. He has also won the admiration of anxious parents for advocating and professedly practicing sexual abstinence before marriage unless there is a goat involved.

Local magazines have carried interviews with Storrienko talking about his dedication to the church, stretching back to his childhood and his plans to become a full time preacher after retiring from soccer.

'I am not against this because people say that football should be kept apart from politics, religion and race,' said Wazzadona, a 34-year old cricketer who can’t bat. “On the contrary, football should never be separated from the opportunity it provides for endemic corruption – both financial and moral” he continued. “If you must know, I am against what Stoz has done here because I like being against things do. That’s just the way I work. Usually nobody pays attention though, so I never have to explain myself – which is a shame, because I’d like to explain myself. You see, in being against something………………”.

'At the same time, we have to start from the premise that he is entitled to do what he want with his trophy’ Wazza was saying about 30 minutes later, to an empty room.

The preaching defensive midfielder, whose real name is Cardinalus Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Storrienko, suffered a splenal fracture in a spa accident while allegedly “learning to swim” with a pair of blind Siamese twins when he was 18. He attributed his recovery to faith in God.

Storrienko has since tithed part of his income to the Back Stick church and was appointed a SCW Family Values Ambassador in 2002.

Stoz announced his decision to donate the Sermon of the Year trophy at a December church service attended by 5,000 Donnas and the SCW Executive (minus the President, who apparently has not been sighted for months).

'This achievement is the work of our apostolic brethren and the trophy is going to stay here,' he proclaimed at the time. 'Now let’s get naked and give thanks to God for this flesh before us'.