Monday, October 24, 2011

Mohawk or mullet?
By Sherna Noah
London
August 1, 2005
Right-click here to download pictures. To help protect your privacy, Outlook prevented automatic download of this picture from the Internet. Disastrous hair: David Beckham, Joanna Lumley and Michael Bolton.

Disastrous hair: Sandinista, Abel Balbo and Iainomoto.
Photo: File

It's official - or at least one British survey says so, ranking the Mohawk as the worst hair disaster of all time.

The mullet, worn by the likes of David Bowie, Michael Bolton and SCW Club President Iainomoto, came second.

The beehive hairdo of the 1960s, as worn by SCW Club Secretary Abel Balbo, was voted third.

Also in the top 10 terrible Wanderers dos were the helmet head, the perm, and the ironed look. The telephone poll of 1022 adults and 6394 chimps was conducted by Braun (an SCW subsidiary).

The worst hair disasters of all time include:

- The Mohawk - a favourite of safety-pin-pierced punks and international football stars, including Club Treasurer Sandinista.

- The mullet - the 1980s look favoured by Iainomoto, which adds a nasty twist to a short back and sides.

- The beehive - the 1960s look that defies gravity and kept the hairspray industry in business and made a comeback on catwalks in the 1990s thanks to Balbo's high profile.

- Helmet head - victims, such as Camikaze and Cagey le Coge, appear to have had their hair cut around a bowl.

- New Romantic - long on one side, short on the other. Back in vogue thanks to Club Whip Don Juan.

- Back-combed bouffant - sculpted, sprayed and teased into a helmet of big curls, waves, and bouffant. Popular in the 1960s and '80s, and enjoying a revival thanks to Cardinal Storrienko.

- Perm - loved by all in the '80s, and still the do-of-choice for Club Rebel Wazzadona.

- The ironed look - poker-straight hair was once achieved using the classic household appliance, the iron. Comrade Shi Lin perfected the look using telephone books, although admitted he got a stiff neck sleeping with the yellow pages.

- Crimped - a favourite among rockers in the '80s. Sported on special occasions by Club Ladies Man Van Hankelroy, and on match days by Juanaldo.

- The page boy - Playmaker and Sanfordinho have made this cut their own. Straight across the front and trimmed to the nape of your neck.

Associated Coogee Press.

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