Cageys Cat Part 4

Fellow Rocket Scientists

I feel that perhaps the club needs to relinquish its grip on pure determinism as it relates to SCW matches, as we all know that physicists abandoned classical determinism in favour of a probabilistic approach to the natural world sometime last century. Perhaps this would help in reaching some satisfactory ends to current debate within the club.

I would argue that El Muth’s movements (trajectory to be more precise) are necessarily imprecise; and that El Muths very existence is alternately concentrated and diffuse; and that the most meticulous experiment such as the one recently carried out by Club Professor Udon at the SCW Lab inevitably distorts the phenomenon, ie. El Muth, being studied.

The failure of determinism is summarized in the uncertainty principle of Werner van Hankelrooy. He demonstrated that certain pairs of variables such as those seen in El Muth cannot be measured or controlled with arbitrarily high accuracy. Our most important physical example involves the position and the momentum of El Muth on Wednesday nights. The more precisely one determines the El Muths's position, the less precisely can one determine his momentum, be it physical or mental momentum. A forecast of El Muths trajectory is therefore subject to an unavoidable inaccuracy.

This is not helped by inaccurate reporting of results as shown last week by Wazzadonna. Wazza also told me yesterday he saw Elvis and Cliff Young sharing a cinnamon donut at Lidcombe Station yesterday, so I am not totally convinced of his circumstantial evidence of the presence/ existence/trajectory of El Muth under his desk at that arbitrary point in time last week.

The van Hankelrooy principle implies that scientific conclusions must be probabilistic, not deterministic. Being a purely scientific club, lets put our bunsen burners down for a while and perhaps more probabilistic in our approach.

I am expecting my trajectory to be at Ronald McDonald stadium (where I presume the chemicals are mixed these summer days) at 6:30 tomorrow evening. Perhaps someone could patch a call through to me at 0407 144 589 if this is not the intended trajectory of other probable Wanderers.

Yours Epistemologically,

A. Balbo

Rocket Science Officer.

Club Secretary.

Cageys Cat Part 3

Cagey:
St Martins Tower, 31 Market Street
No sign of Murray on level 8. Will check the ground level in a minute.

Bam:
El Muth not present....

Has anyone thought to check all known eating houses (as for the spiritual sustenance this may be more difficult)....

PM:
Probably not here either

Comrade:
It took a while to knock on all the doors at ANU, but once again, we have a negative finding.

VHR:

Hankers can definitely confirm that el-muth was not in Brisbane for the last three days as i asked everyone I met there.

However they said they would love him to visit and are quite supportive of our attempts to confirm his existence!

Cagey's Cat Part 2

As requested by DJ AA, I can report that El Muth was not at the location of suite 7.01, 249 Pitt St Central Business District, Sydney, NSW, Australia, earth, Milky Way, ?? Galaxy, The Universe.

Coordinates on Earth

25°12' S, 135°56' E



Earth Coordinates within Universe Unknown.



Boffinista.

Cagey's Cat

Wanderer physicists,

The way to resolve Murray's Dilemna as to his existence or not, along with
that of S's cat, is for one of us to make a measurement. One of us needs to
look in on Muz and observe whether or not he is alive and where we think he
is.

To start this process, I made several observations last night between 6.40pm
and 9pm at Tum Thai Stadium. Based on my observations, which were
standardised to World Research Organisation methods, I am reasonably certain
that Muz was NOT at Tum Thai Stadium. But the universe is infinitely large,
so I cannot locate his being simply by ruling out a single set of locational
coordinates. I must simultaneously make an infinite set of measurements
across all coordinates in the universe, down to the sub-atomic level, before
i can conclude whether he is here or there. This assumes, obviously, that he
is within the universe I speak of; if he is not, I suggest we cease all
communication with him now because he ain't ever going to show for the
Wanderers.

I propose a pilot project, to help identify whether or not Muz is alive and
can be locationally pinpointed. At exactly 1200 EDST today, I request all
Wanderers to observe whether or not Muz is within their vicinity. I'll
compile your individual reports and assess the results in the SCW lab. If
the pilot is successful, we may wish to promote an expansion of the study to
all inhabitants of the universe.

Yours quantumly,
Bombus Terrestris

schrodingers cat

Punters

I've been worrying for some time about the meaning of football, and
although my dilema is by no means resolved, i've decided to end
speculation with some empirical research. this means i'll turn up for at
least one game in the near future, the actual date to be determined by
monte carlo simulation.

as to my physical whereabouts at any one given time, i must admit i'm as
uncertain, yet as boxed in, as schrodingers cat.

as far as i know, i'm still alive.

El Muth, the man masked by probability

Cagey Asks the Big Questions - Stoffaduka Replies

Comrades,

I am happy to confirm that I have very much alive, despite rumours to
the contrary. The deep pain of being unable to appear for the Wanderers
on Wednesday nights has rendered me incapable of participating in the
regular email banter. Various Rugby World Cup, PhD and work engagements
have exacerbated this pain.

Despite a strong lobbying campaign on my part, I was unable to convince
Bruvvers FC to join a non-Wednesday competition, and I couldn't leave
the struggling club to battle relegation without my midfield
exuberance. We went down 3-1 in a tough encounter last night - we had
no reserves, they had two, and yours truly was struggling not to throw
up towards the end of the game. Nevertheless, I was responsible for our
goal - my long distance strike glancing off the back of their sweeper
and finding the corner of the net. This leaves us with a draw and a
loss from our first two games, a better start than last comp at least,
where we eventually finished 6th (out of 8).

Hope all is well at SCW and all are continuing to fill their respective
roles with aplomb.

Cheers, Stoffaduka (Sister Club Correspondent)

Cagey Asks the Big Questions

Fellow Navel Gazers,

We have a confirmed 6. Usual suspects, all of them (apart from the club
rebel, who should be labelled a most unusual suspect).

The big questions remain:

- did Camikaze again miss out on selection for the Wanderers for
failing to
attend a compulsory spelling test (the answer to which is, of course,
S-C-W), or will he make a surprise appearance sporting some facial
hair phenomena picked up on the Apple Isle?
- is El Presidente intending to continue his rich vein of form
tonight with the Wanderers or is his flash-in-the-pan season over before it began?
- is Playmaker intending to bring out the backheel, or has he gone
underground in some Defence bunker backwater for the evening?
- is Van Hankelroy back on deck after a tough week with the SCW
Ladies, or is he still tied to a headboard dressed in little pieces of
carefully placed leather?

- is El Muth the man of discourse (from the Greek, meaning Football
Pitch) that he profers to be, or is he insubstantiated by his philosophical
meanderings and so unable to field a physical presence at Tum Thai
Stadium

No. 2?
- is Stoffa even alive?
and
- will the ghosts of Wanderers Past be there to trip us up when
we're clear on goal?

The only to find out is to turn up tonight. See you there.

I. Martinez
Heavy Turntable Operator