Tuesday, December 6, 2011

ABEL COMPOSES SWEET MUSIC FOR THE WANDERERS



Returned Club Secretary Abel Balbo was in a poetic mood this morning as he prepared for tonight's I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Testimonial with a few light stretches in the garden of his north shore villa. "My team is like an orchestra. To play the symphony correctly I need some of the boom boom boom, but I also need some tweet and sometimes the tweet and boom go well together. Sometimes all you can hear is the boom, sometimes only the tweet. That is not good music" he said. When asked whether he intended to play with or against Van Hankelroy, he went on "Van Hankelroy is a tweet, and sometimes you need a tweet to win games, and sometimes you don't. I'll make my decision closer to kick off".

Balbo, looking tanned and relaxed in his parachute tracksuit and flip flops, has spent all morning on the telephone with well wishers, many of whom have been waiting on Balbo's 1900 CLUBSEC premium phone line for up to three hours. "It brings a tear to the eye, it really does. I play the game 'cos I love it, mate, but all these people, they just love me".

Wanderer heavyweights are reportedly clambering out of the closet for tonight's highly anticipated fixture. While regulars Sandinista and El Aarondo are definite starters, Club Myth El Muth suggested even he may make a rare appearance, although it's unsure whether he meant he would appear for the game or whether Wanderers will find him waiting at the post-match restaurant.

When asked where, exactly, he expected the game to be, El Aarondo replied curtly "Tum Thai Stadium you fckwit. Look, these blow-ins that prance around Asia for a while then come back and start dictating the venue for big games, they can get fcked. Unless Balbo's picked up night vision wear from some Vientianne market even he won't see his way through the darkness at Ronald McWanderer Stadium." El Aarondo is obviously still feeling plucky after early sales figures for the "I Can't Believe It's Not A Testimonial" merchandise suggest this event could be the biggest financial windfall in the Club's history.

Ticketing agencies have reported severe shortages for tonight's game, so - in the words of Club Media Whore Camikaze - "smoke 'em if you got 'em".

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