Special Request from The Wanderers

Dear Soccer Wife,

I write to you on behalf of the South Coogee Wanderers Executive, Players
Association, affiliates and subsidiary organisations with a special request
relating to your soccer husband and patron saint, Wazzadona.

As you will be aware from the recent TV advertising campaign organised by
Club Secretary Abel Balbo, the Wanderers are about to record and release
their second full length album, the much anticipated Love Album. I know you
were one of the biggest supporters of our recording debut, the Summer Album,
and therefore will appreciate the significance of this project.

It is in relation to the Love Album that I write to you today. I am seeking
your leave to grant Wazzadona an evening away from his chores, so that he
can lead the Club in song this wednesday evening at the SCW studios in
Clovelly. Wazza's musical influence was great on the Summer Album, and
indeed many industry critics suggested the album would never have gone
platinum without his vocal leadership. If you've ever heard the raw voices
of Sandinista, Comrade Shilin and Cagey in disharmony I'm sure you will
agree.

I understand Wazza has homely duties and make clear that I would not be
asking such a favour from you if this were not important to the Club. After
all, the South Coogee Wanderers is a family club, promoting family values.
We would never openly endorse an attendance policy that robbed families of
their familyness, that robbed wives of their husbands or children of their
fathers*. You will recall, perhaps, recent initiatives taken by the SCW
Executive to get Wazza to curb his off-field excesses, which came about
after your representatives approached the Club seeking help. Despite the
fact that Wazza's performance on the field - while still reasonable - seems
to have suffered somewhat as a result, the Club has maintained it's hardline
stance on female fans and continues to impose a curfew on players during
travel away from our home territory of South Coogee.

As you are no doubt familiar with the Club's Women's Policy I won't quote
you tomes from that work, except to say that it too recognises the
importance of family in this Club (for instance, the importance of family
members being the right shape - see the "No Fat Chicks" section of the
policy). If you do have any questions about the Womens Policy please
contact Mark Van Hankelroy.

I therefore ask, on behalf of this otherwise cacophonous Club, that you
allow Wazzadona to attend the recording this wednesday and save the Love
Album from the bargain basement bins at HMV. In return, Wazza will take on
two additional evenings of family responsibilities** to allow you to relax
how you wish, and will also bring you a bunch of flowers from the South
Coogee Wanderers Growers Association market garden.

Your generosity in assisting the Club is anticipated and much appreciated.

Yours sincerely

Don Juan Aaron
Club DJ
For and on behalf of the South Coogee Wanderers

* excepting for games of football and recording of albums.
** any evening except any wednesday